Hasta La Creative!

Well, they finally went and did it.

After four solid seasons of douchebaggy secret agent Sterling Archer bellowing "DANGER ZONE!" in a Logginsy falsetto, FX has re-created the hilariously self-serious music video of the action theme from Top Gun. Archer is (of course) Tom Cruise's Maverick, evil psychopath Barry is Val Kilmer's Iceman, Archer's on-again-off-again girlfriend Lana is the Meg Ryan character, and his secret friend with benefits, Pam, is Kelly McGillis. And, of course, poor Cyril is Goose.

The crème de la crème, though, is disturbingly perverted IT guy Krieger as the great Kenny Loggins, leering at the camera in a fashion that seems parodic and over-the-top until you see the actual music video (see below the FX clip).

I wish I could remember the exact moment when Archer became a show I admitted I loved. It was probably around the time Archer started talking about how he "didn't invent the turtleneck, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment." It's consistently one of the best-acted shows on TV, especially H. Jon Benjamin as the lead character. And the jokes … well, just watch to the end of the clip.

When the Tumblr community isn't misunderstanding social justice or letting alcoholic grad students explain themselves via TV-show GIFs, they're mashing things up. Logo Mashups, for instance, takes two somehow related brand logos and puts them together, which is funny when the two brands have little in common. The IHOP/Playboy pairing gave me the best/worst idea for a Hooters-style pancake house, but there's not much else to say about projects like these beyond "here are some logos." That's the problem with mashups; even the clever ones are just reminders of someone else's creative work.

Dog goes woof. Cat goes meow. But what do the shirtless Abercrombie & Fitch models say? They're so good looking, who cares?!

Behold A&F's hunks, stripped to the waist and pleasingly pumped, preening in the woods for a parody of "The Fox," the viral novelty track by Ylvis, which, without any hyperbole, has amassed 900 mega-billion views since its early-September debut. Actually, the count is about 52 million, and the A&F parody is approaching 600,000 after just five days. The spoof is even more Fellini-esque than the absurdist original, owing to the black-and-white photography and denim-clad, half-nude studs high-steppin' with gorgeous gals clad in furry animal costumes.

I guess only two things are left to say. First, A&F's elitist brand attitude still sucks. And second, Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

If you love live-chatting with babies and put tremendous stock in the opinion of bakers, then you probably love most tech advertising. In its new parody, "Every Tech Commercial," CollegeHumor skewers some of the most frequent clichés from ads for apps, smartphones, tablets and assorted other gadgets. It's an admirable collection, though it omits my personal favorite trope: the early adopter who smugly solves someone else's problem using the device, instantly becoming a hero to some poor Luddite loser.

Ikea is a family brand, except when it comes to showing dozens of Hot Malms in compromising positions.

A new website, HotMalm.com, shows loads of explicit (yet completely safe for work) photos of Malms—i.e., Malm beds sold by Ikea. The photos have captions like "Black Twin Malms Get Supermanned," "Hot Malm's Box Filled Up," "Check Out the Pussy on This Hot Malm" and (our personal favorite) "What a Little Tease." You can also search by category—Ebony Malms, Big Beautiful Malms (BBM), Mature Malms, Teen Malms, Blonde Malms, Animal on Malm, Exposed Malms and Twin Malms. All the photos link through to the Ikea site.

HotMalm.com is "dedicated to bringing you the hottest Hot Malm action on the Web," the site says. "Our diverse and international team prides itself on curating and maintaining the Internet's most comprehensive collection of Hot Malm videos, images and content. Hot new Malms are being stripped down, screwed and laid by the thousands every day, and it's our mission to expose them."

HotMalm.com was created by some Droga5 creatives and their friends, and was tweeted out by David Droga on Monday. But it's not an official Ikea project and is meant purely for entertainment.

"The idea for HotMalm.com built up over a span of three years," says Asa Block, who worked with Droga5 colleagues Spencer Lavallee and Jen Lu and two freelancers on the site. "My roommate and I were on the obligatory post-collegiate Ikea trip and buying new beds. Of course, we started giggling at the Malm series and before long, every time someone said the word 'mom' we would reply 'HotMalm.com.' Fast-forward three years and we are both grown men, still living in an Ikea furnished apartment, and still thinking way too much about this stuff. Now, we just have a website to show for it."

Block adds: "We have never watched porn."

Ikea has yet to comment, though it now seems unlikely that it will be moving its account to Droga5 anytime in the near future. Credits below.

CREDITS
Asa Block, Spencer Lavallee and Jen Lu of Droga5
Graham Douglas, freelance creative director
Adrian Cabrero, freelance Web developer

Another little something built by our best and naughtiest. http://t.co/D3ypi9xxyy

— David Droga (@ddroga) July 8, 2013

Microsoft says a mouthful in this ad from Crispin Porter + Bogusky. And—surprise!—those words are spoken by Siri, Apple's voice assistant, from an iPad sitting next to a Windows 8 tablet. As the latter wordlessly flips through various features, Siri apologies for being unable to run those programs and perform the same functions. "I'm sorry, I don't update like that," she says. "I'm sorry, I can only do one thing at a time." I half expected a tax app to pop up on the tablet's screen and be greeted by an awkward silence from Siri. Maybe in the sequel. This is Microsoft's second spot in a week to deftly parody a rival's ad style (in this case, Apple's stylish minimalism), following its skewering of Google's Chrome browser. The tablet ad, which references the iPad mini's "Piano" spot from last October, is approaching 2 million views on YouTube in just a couple of days. There are some chatty personal assistants, like Indigo, available for Windows devices. But for my taste, the ultimate Microsoft PA voice would speak in measured, calm-yet-crazy cadences, providing sadly poignant commentary as the OS crashes into a sea of blue when its mind begins to go.

Frankly, I needed a testicle-themed parody of Dove's "Real Beauty Sketches" like I needed a kick in the crotch. Portal A was only too glad to oblige, producing this NSFW effort which becomes the second notable spoof of Grupo Ogilvy Brasil's mega-hit in which an FBI-trained sketch artist drew women as they see themselves, and as others see them. The point: "You're more beautiful than you think." (The Dove spot was released only two weeks ago. Feels like it's been around forever.) The Portal A clip is a one-joke parody … though, anatomically speaking, I guess there are a pair. An "Encino P.D. forensic artist" sketches, well, balls, first based on descriptions from their owners, and next by others who have seen them. The point: "Your balls are more beautiful than you think." The acting's solid, and the testicular descriptions ("It's like a frog that died, that's been in the road for two or three days") are amusing. But I feel deflated—this particular sack seems half empty. When you do balls humor, go big! Let it all hang out! All of the sketches look like fairly accurate representations of the body parts in question. Why not have the ones done from the guys' descriptions look outlandishly awful—draw a frog that's been dead in the road for two days—contrasted with sketches of giant smiley-face emoticons, Fabergé eggs and the package on Michelangelo's David? What we have is far too restrained. Back to the drawing board, guys.

Are you addicted to the Big Mac, or can you stop anytime you want? Whatever your emotional issues with the burger, McDonald's is distancing itself from the mental-health parody ad above, which appeared on Boston's mass transit this month. (The 800 number on the ad is a McDonald's corporate line.) In a statement to Time magazine, Nicole DiNoia, a McDonald's rep for the Boston area, says the ad was "not approved by McDonald's" and that "we asked that it be taken down immediately." She adds: "We have an approval process in place with our marketing and advertising agencies to ensure that all advertising content is consistent with our brand values. Regrettably, in this incident, that process was not followed. We sincerely apologize for this error." Sounds like maybe a local agency rolled out the work without proper approval? We left a message with DiNoia—hopefully she can clarify. The ad was part of a series—another showed two corporate drones high-fiving just thinking about a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Mental health is a particularly touchy subject for marketers, as last year's 7-Eleven fiasco reminded us. Photo via.

UPDATE: Arnold in Boston created the ad. McDonald's sent us the following statement, which is attributed to Arnold president Pam Hamlin: "Arnold apologizes for its mistake to McDonald's and to anyone who was offended by the ad. McDonald's did not approve the ad, and its release was our unintended error. We've addressed the issue and have improved our approval process to ensure this does not happen in the future."

Brian Altano's concept design of Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite Pop-Tarts was born from silly work conversations about hypothetical Star Wars merch, which is probably how George Lucas came up with most of Episodes 1-3. It's amusing, yes. But there's a certain thematic dissonance in pairing Carbonite with something you're supposed to put in the toaster (not that anyone does that anymore). And what would these taste like? Carbonite doesn't have an obvious flavor option, and plain old Harrison Ford Pop Tarts would just taste like old leather these days. Via Laughing Squid.

The medicinal benefits of tacos are explained in this parody of antidepressant medication ads, which is a pretty clever piece of work (although trust me, beef sweats are no laughing matter). I can't support the use of fake swear words like "friggin" or "frickin" by adults, though. What, was the writer's mom looking over his shoulder when he wrote this?