“Dear John” letter generator for Ad agencies

Citrus have created this dear agency letter generator. You choose between three different things, such as monkeys, lizards or meerkats in response to the question “What animals have been suggested that “really take your brand to the next level”?” and click write letter to get a nice letter that you can send off to your agency when you want them to know you’re letting them go. My only gripe with this is no matter what animal I pick that particular creature isn’t mentioned in the letter, though the others might be. Fail.

Here’s an example of what you might send to your agency. I got this when I picked meerkats. No cats at all in the letter (hehe) but cavemen and geckos are mentioned.

That’s right. You heard me. Fired. As in axed. Let go. Canned. Sacked, as the Brits say.

Did it have to come to this? Let me put it to you in a way your tragically hip, bipolar, right-brained mind can understand: It was either this or I start torturing interns for fun.

You’re confused, are you? Let me clarify. Over the past year, you’ve tried to sell me regurgitated award show ideas that no self-respecting agency would even put down on paper, let alone present. Do you really think a garrulous reptile is a new idea? Let alone a good one? Here’s a tip: If it’s been done as a failed ad campaign AND a failed TV show, it’s not going to make my brand famous. Same goes with babies, cavemen and anything else that might require an on-location “wrangler.”

The attitudes, the overcharging, the blown deadlines, the constant bitching and moaning like it’s the end of the freaking world when I suggest you add my web address to an ad that I’m PAYING for…you should be paying me for putting up with it for so long.

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Rumormill – Microsoft responds to Mac vs. PC ads with Jackass?

Over at a blog called Cajunboy there’s an email from a guy who was in a focusgroup which he deducted was for Microsoft. Seems they might be testing out a new hero for their next ad campaign… Namely Johnny Knoxville a.k.a that Jackass guy.

But what struck me as the funniest thing out of all of this was that it appears as though Johnny Knoxville might be their answer to Justin Long. We were shown some marketing material featuring Knoxville, including one commercial in which he falls and drops his PC in Jackass type stunt, but then a “don’t worry about losing your data if your computer becomes destroyed because you’re a jackass because the new Windows automatically backs up to files for you” message was delivered.

Wouldn’t that be a hoot? Too easy for apple fans to knock them down with a thousand jackass jokes. I’ll start with the easy one: “Don’t be a jackass, buy a mac.”

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Links for 2008-03-22 [del.icio.us]

Ads to Make You Think – Viral Awareness Test

I can’t give away the ending to this video as it would destroy the point; you’ll have to watch to see how effective it is.

The Awareness Test is an interesting viral video that’s been generating a lot of buzz this week. It’s intention is to promote how easily we can miss things when we’re focused …

Slow Motion Balloonvertising – Schweppes Ad

Ready for a moment of Schweppervescense? To promote their beverage line, Schweppes launched a new TV spot that has quickly climbed the Viral Video Charts to spot #2.

People are crazy for the Schweppes Burst ad although it doesn’t feature nudity, it’s not controversial and it’s not funny.

Instead…

The Open Brand: A Perfect Guidebook to Web 2.0

I’ve long said that major corporations and marketers simply don’t want to “join the conversation,” so to speak. They’d prefer not to engage in two-way dialogue with their customers and would just as soon keep the one-way megaphone.

But now comes a very persuasive little handboook for those very marketers, The Open Brand: When Push Comes to Pull in a Web-Made Worldby Kelly Mooney and Nina Rollins.

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Despite its small size (think of it as a Lonely Planet Guide to Web 2.0), it’s a very thorough compendium of all the definitions, types, and issues surrounding new media, a new type of “engaged citizen” and what it means to “open up” a brand to all the new forms of marketing. As it is, it’s a very of-the-moment book, that is to say it may be all different a year from now.

The Open Brand is chock-full of case studies, diagrams, and techniques for moving brands along. And it also broaches a number of legal issues surrounding blogs and the “fair use” of materials in consumer-generated ideas.

If you, your agency, or in particular a client of yours needs an introduction, replete with glossary, to get them up to speed on new media and Web 2.0-type ideas, The Open Brand is a great place to start.

Special thanks to FSB Associates for providing me a copy for review.

Renaissance Inspired Ads – Reebok’s Birth of Venus

Botticelli’s infamous Birth of Venus (see image below, right) is the inspiration behind the latest reebok ad.

The Zephyrs or Winds that blow Venus to shore in the original painting are used to blow on a girl running with reebok shoes.

The campaign is created by mcgarrybowen ad agency, New York,…

Tranformer Lingerie – Cover Cleavage With a ‘Figs’ Bra (GALLERY)

(TrendHunter.com) When Victoria’s Secret announced they thought their image had become “too sexy” and irrelevant to their customers, much of the fashion world was confused.

In order to create the shift to a less sex-related angle, they’ve had to relaunch their marketing campaigns and create new products. One such p…

Fashion Bicycles – Tong City Bike (GALLERY)

(TrendHunter.com) The striking Tong City Bike design by Niklas Galler and nr21 is simply beautiful. The motivation behind the design was the increasing traffic problem in modern Chinese cities, as an individual transportation device would have to compete with cars and scooters.

The unique and stylish Tong Lightfra…

Rockband Sells 6 Million Song Downloads

“Harmonix Music Systems Inc., developers of the music video game Rock Band and its predecessor franchise Guitar Hero, reports that more than 6 million game levels based on songs have been purchased through its online music store since the game launched in November 2007.

Since launch, Cambridge-based Harmonix has been adding downloadable content weekly, and now has more than 70 songs available for purchase, officials said. With an average cost of about $2 each, the downloaded tracks could have brought in up to $12 million additional revenue to Harmonix since the game launched.”
Mass High Tech

Light For Large Spaces – Lampost by Jaren Goh

(TrendHunter.com) The Lampost by famous designer Jaren Goh is uniquely designed for large spaces and features the very classic lamp shades and structure.
The lamps are randomly inserted to create a non-symmetrical look that helps to give the environment a touch of contemporary art. The shades can be easily changed …

In-Theater Games Come to A Theater Near You

In-theater games such as NewsBreaker will soon become a part of the usual moviegoing experience. Our friends at Brand Experience Labs say that they have partnered with National CineMedia and will begin “rolling AudienceGames out to the top 20 markets on about 750 screens” after the initial test.

National CineMedia operates the largest digital in-theatre network in North America through a venture of AMC Entertainment, Cinemark, and Regal Entertainment Group, the three largest theatre operators in the U.S. Our national theatre network includes over 15,000 screens in over 1,100 theatres in 47 states, reaching more than 600 million moviegoers annually.”

Very exciting, especially combined with industry rumors that 3D cinema is coming back big time.

Recycled Beer Bottle Glasses – HIK!

(TrendHunter.com) Hik! If you are a raging alcoholic such as I am, then you no doubt know why these beer bottles are named Hik! These are no ordinary beer bottles though; no, they don’t make you able to drink copious amounts of beer without the danger of a hangover, but it does put to use those everyday beer bottles …

DIY Stop Motion Video – Origami Movie (VIDEO)

(TrendHunter.com) I’m an origami fan! Last year I saw a bar in Barcelona that had decorations made entirely of origami. I was so inspired, I’m already working on some design ideas based on origami, the Japanese paper folding technique.

But the guys featured in the video above made a step by step tutorial on how to m…

Spam Through Google Calendar

A newly discovered way to send spam: as a Google Calendar invitation. My favorite one, though, remains spam sent through the “Send to friend” button at NY Times.com. Very intellectual.

6 BadAss Designs – Knuckle Insired Products + Wooden Knuckles (GALLERY)

(TrendHunter.com) I am not sure how good these artsy wooden knuckles would be in a fight but I think they are just awesome. Also, it would be easier to get them through airport security than the real ones.

The totally badass $40 wooden knuckles are hand-crafted in Nashville by woodworking master gangsta Mitch Rober…

Google Hurricane Alerts

(TrendHunter.com) Google offers a lot of features and services to the world and their latest addition is the Google Hurricane Alerts. This service may now be used by citizens living in the US hurricane belt to know the risk levels and other information about incoming storm surges. “According to the director of the …

Glass Igloos – Fake Ice Hotels (GALLERY)

(TrendHunter.com) Ice hotels are now popular across the freezing north, showing off everything from ice bars to beds made out of ice. In Findland, cold-looking lodging have happened to become quite a hit.

For something more becoming, there are now glass igloos for those travelers who want extra warmth yet still wan…

Awareness

$2 Million Cognac – Henri IV Dudognon Heritage

(TrendHunter.com) The world’s most expensive cognac which is packaged by jeweler Jose Davalos, is the Henri IV Dudognon Heritage dubbed as the DNA of cognacs. This ultra expensive liquor which has been produced since 1776, is aged in barrels for more than 100 years. The cognac is then bottled in a bejeweled bottle wh…