Children can’t handle that PG-13 marketing

Chunky
From: Big Hollywood Studio
To: Our Ad Agency
Re: Proposed changes to our ad campaign!

  A coalition of 19 pro-child groups wants filmmakers to stop promoting PG-13 films to kids via giveaways and such. Nineteen is a lot of groups. Who knew there were so many? We have to take this seriously! Please make the following changes to our marketing plans for Killer Chunky: Chunky’s Bloodbath in Hell. (Note: Yes, we are aware of a “Chucky” movie franchise that is reportedly similar to our “Chunky.” Legal is working on it.)
  1. Halt production of the Killer Chunky dolls. We would, however, like to commend you on your fine craftsmanship. Killer Chunky’s razor-blade fingers cut me so badly, I needed 21 stitches. Please send over prototypes we can give to nieces and nephews at holidays.
  2. Cancel media buys for Killer Chunky on Nick, Nick at Nite, Pre-Teen Nick and Baby Nick. Needless to say, we can go ahead as planned on Fox.
  3. Tie-in with Campbell’s for Killer Chunky “Bloody Meatball Surgery” soup is OUT.
  4. The Killer Chunky Early Reader book is OUT. At least now we don’t have to pay Thomas Harris.
  5. Killer Chunky’s sponsorship of K-12 report cards is OUT. Even McDonald’s can’t get away with that anymore. We can, however, move ahead with plans to emboss blood-stained Chunky logos on diplomas from Wharton and Yale, though Harvard Business and MIT’s Sloan School of Management want out. They’re so uptight about marketing in Boston!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Another Side of American Apparel

immigration.jpg

Dov Charney, CEO of American Apparel, is not one to shy away from controversy. In fact, he actively pursues it, as his bordering on porn ad campaigns have well established. But now, Charney is going political in this political season.

According to The New York Times, Mr. Charney said American Apparel’s customers appreciate the company’s views on immigration. He said his customers were “borderless.” He named the company American Apparel, rather than “USA Apparel,” he said, on purpose.

“I think my Latino workers are American workers,” he said. “They’re from the Americas. We’re all here together.”

Which agency will have the breakout year?

Mostlikelytosucceed
Over at Adweek.com, this week’s poll is asking visitors to pick the agency that will have a breakout year in 2008. The list is admittedly a mishmash—a few digital specialists, some boutiques. Crispin Porter + Bogusky is not one of the 10 selections, you anti-Crispinites. After just one day, more than 1,600 votes have been cast. I’m not going to accuse any agencies of ballot stuffing—surely, busy agency professionals would never be so vain as to waste their time repeatedly voting in Internet polls, although some voting patterns are perhaps a little suspicious. The four shops separating themselves from the pack: Amalgamated, Anomaly, Nitro and StrawberryFrog.

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Golley Slater promotions chief Ledward departs

LONDON – Cal Ledward, managing director of Golley Slater’s promotional marketing division, has left the company.

Postcomm launches postal access review

LONDON – UK postal regulator Postcomm has launched a consultation process to determine the effectiveness of current access arrangements, which allow rival operators to use Royal Mail’s postal delivery network.

Computers that did not fit inside envelopes

Briefcase
The technology featured in these old computer ads is funnier than most of the ads themselves. Half the computers look like televisions giving birth to adding machines, and if you’d shown these people a Pentium chip, their heads would have exploded, if their reaction to “electronic mail” is any indication. This ad collection is also notable for its celebrity roster, which includes Issac Asimov’s sideburns, Elvira’s cleavage, Bill Gates’s impeccable style, and Jackson Browne’s haircut.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

LMG boosts stake in Middle East rewards company to 60%

LONDON – Loyalty Management Group has spent £5.3m to boost its stake in the Gulf-based loyalty marketing company, Rewards Management Middle East, to 60%.

Adidas guerilla stunt – giving marathon runners their “second wind” in New Zealand

Pop Quiz hot shot. You’ve been briefed by Adidas to do a stunt sure to grab the attention of the 11,000 runners of the Auckland Marathon. Adidas wants you to give the runners hope, remind them that nothing is impossible even when there’s 42 kilometers left, and do it in that kick-ass over the top Adidas way.
What do you do? What do you do?

Why, it’s a given that build a custom made gianormous hurricane fan that’ll give runner 50 knots worth of second wind at 17 km mark if they opt to run in the adiBOOST lane. A massive gust of wind will cool, push and amuse and leave the runners thinking “yeah, what the heck, nothing is impossible”. Or at least thinking: “Weeeeeeee!” which is just as good, really.

Hell, even Darth Vader and other fans of the dark side opted to use the fan. Go adiBOOST! See film of the contraption in action inside (super adgrunts).

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McDonald’s ditches report-card advertising

Babyronald
Deer Mac Donalds,
  How could you remuv ads from report cardz just becuz parents got made at you for puting them their? Does this mean if I get good grads I kant get frys no moor? I had perfect attandence last yeer and got a C in Citicenship and got frys and apple pyes. The pyes was good, thanks. I’m lovin’ it. 1 day maybe I can werk for you so I hop you wont regect my applecation for a job. I see myself in middl managment.
  Sinceerly,
  Daved Gianatasio
  Grade 5

Sweden to make war on sexist advertising

Swedes
It’s a good thing Austin Powers made all those Swedish stewardess jokes when he did, because they’re none too fond of that kind of talk these days—in fact, Sweden is considering a ban on ads that feature sexist content. Anything “with a commercial aim” that’s “construed as offensive to women or men” falls under the ban, which would go into effect in early 2009 if passed into law. I almost hope they go for it. Sure, it would effectively end all sex-based marketing in the country, but 2008 will be way more fun for us, with every Swedish ad firm flocking to get it out of their systems this year. They can start with this Posh/Becks story as inspiration.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

H&M signs on to Elle Style Awards

LONDON – Elle has teamed up with high street fashion retailer H&M for the second year running to sponsor the Elle Style Awards 2008.

Quiet Storm scoops London Lite account

LONDON – Associated Newspapers has appointed Quiet Storm to handle London Lite’s marketing on a project basis.

Macdonald Hotels to switch marketing focus to direct

LONDON – Macdonald Hotels and Resorts has unveiled plans to switch its marketing emphasis from brand advertising to direct, beginning with a national mailing campaign that breaks next week.

BBC Magazines names Osman as Focus editor

LONDON – Jheni Osman has been appointed editor of the BBC’s flagship science and technology magazine Focus.

Super Bowl XLII getting ramped up

Only two weeks and two days until Super Bowl XLII comes at us and we have some updates on the advertisers you can expect to see, whom on average shelled out $2.7 million for a 30-seocnd spot. As of last Friday, FOX was reporting one spot was unsold out of 63 30-second slots slated to run during the game.

Tide has thrown their cap into the ring for their first ever Super Bowl ad. Their 30-second spot by Saatchi & Saatchi, New York is scheduled to air during the second quarter.

“The Super Bowl is the one time you watch a show and don’t want to miss the commercial breaks,” said Suzanne Watson, Tide brand manager for North America at Procter in Cincinnati.

“Given the wide appeal for Tide to Go and the broad audience for the Super Bowl,” she added, “it’s a perfect fit.” Tide to Go, which was introduced in 2005, is particularly fitting for a Super Bowl berth, Ms. Watson said, because of its properties as a quick stain remover.

“There are thousands of parties that night,” making Super Bowl Sunday “the biggest stain-based occasion of the year,” she added. “With Tide to Go right there, you don’t have to get up to clean your shirt or pants.” The Tide to Go commercial will be supported by a wide-ranging marketing campaign, Ms. Watson said, that will include the Internet, public relations and promotions. Such nontraditional elements “can really connect with consumers outside the laundry room,” she added, “and in their daily lives.”

“We haven’t been focused on how this TV spot will measure relative to others,” Ms. Watson said. “We just want to do the best in communicating with our consumers.”

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Acxiom appoints Meyer as CEO and President

LONDON – Acxiom has appointed John Meyer, president of the global services group of Alcatel-Lucent, as its chief executive officer and president.

BBC launches viral game for Africa Cup of Nations

LONDON – BBC World Service is to launch an online football game to tie in with the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations, which begins in Ghana this weekend.

Grass Roots in management shake-up

LONDON – Motivation house Grass Roots has announced a management shake-up of its customer strategy division, Grass Roots BDR.

Lobbyists face mauling in Commons

The public affairs industry faces a mauling in the House of Commons next week, as MPs resume their inquiry into the industry by hearing from one of its fiercest opponents.

IN&M buys Clear Channel out of African outdoor joint venture

LONDON – Independent News & Media has acquired the remaining 50% stake in African outdoor advertising company Clear Channel Independent from its venture partner Clear Channel Outdoor for €86.6m (£64.7m).