Hasta La Creative!

If you can dream it, someone can steal it.

That could be the moral of the story of Stun Fone, a fictitious attachment that turned your smartphone into a stun gun, devised a few years back by Los Angeles ad agency and production studio Stun Creative. A video demo of this 90,000-volt fake gadget went viral (the original clip was pulled off YouTube, but a copy is posted below), racked up millions of tweets and won an "experimental and weird" Webby honor. Sadistic folks all over the world clamored for one.

Well, the wait's over, and the real version, made by a company called Yellow Jacket, is significantly more muscular than the one cooked up by Stun Creative's Brad Roth and Mark Feldstein as a quirky promotion for their business. Yellow Jacket will sell you a detachable stun-gun case for the iPhone 5 that can shoot 650,000 volts of electricity into a would-be predator (or unfortunate butt-dialer?) for just $149. Bonus: It doubles as a battery charger and makes a noise that's "throaty and intimidating," according to CNET.

The device, launched at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, will be available next month, complete with safety switches so you don't fry your ears off. No word on revenue splits or a licensing fee to the original "creators," although they don't seem overly bothered by the new product. In fact, it was Stun Creative's PR team that pointed us to it.

With crowdfunding product videos all the rage, mockvertising has reached a new apex with fictional Kickstarter ads. Behold the one below, imploring you to help fund the development of Tiny Diapers for the Tip of Your Penis™. This parody by comedy-writer group Above Average (and writers The Bilderbergers and director Ben Weinstein) is the best example I've seen of American chindogu. Chindogu is the Japanese word for an everyday gadget that seems to be an ideal solution for an annoying problem but would cause so much embarrassment to use that it's essentially useless. Given that these tiny diapers have tiny leg holes, they are exceedingly useless. But mostly, this is a send-up of the Kickstarter video format—the moronic questions the inventors answer, the absurd reward hierarchy, and the fantasy that some random people on the Internet are just a tiny amount of funding away from actually solving a serious problem. Because, really, Kickstarter videos are nothing more than the 3 a.m. infomercial of the Internet.

It's no NeverWet, but as new products go, Tile has a wow factor that's helped it attract plenty of funding, if somewhat mixed reactions to its core concept. "It has never been easier to find your keys" is one of the product's big marketing lines—and indeed, Tile finds whatever you've lost, if you've stuck one of the little white Tile squares to it. Each Tile pairs with an iOS app, so when the item goes missing, you can use your Apple device to track it down. But that's just the beginning. The company is planning to build a community of users, any of whom could track down your item if it goes missing in public. The promo video dramatically suggests this could help track down and capture auto thieves. On the downside: It's currently available only for iOS, not Android. And it could be just another beacon by which its users could be tracked by Big Brother. Tile is being funded through a Selfstarter campaign and has raised almost $1 million—well past its initial goal of $20,000.

Downton Abbey is hopping on the branded beverage bandwagon (alongside Breaking Bad, The Simpsons, Game of Thrones and some other shows), but in a unique way that's sure to make the program's fans even more insufferable. Wines That Rock and Dulong Grands Vins de Bordeaux will be joint producing Downton-branded Bordeaux Clarets and Blancs, with the blessing of the show's North American licensing company. The grapes used will be "grown on the same vines and from the same soil as the era depicted in Downton Abbey," they say, because authenticity is very important when dealing with a TV program about people who never existed. It's a really good show, granted, but still, this is getting a little ridiculous. At least it's in better taste than the Breaking Bad beer.