Hasta La Creative!

You may have seen an uncharacteristically bawdy ad for Crocs on the Internet this week. Well, it turns out it was fake (it was apparently a spec spot from London production company Compulsory), and Crocs isn't happy about it. "It is not an authentic Crocs ad," the company says. "We're very concerned by it, because it does not reflect our company values as a global lifestyle brand. No one at Crocs is familiar with this ad; no one at Crocs authorized its creation or appearance. We are committed to portraying the Crocs brand in a positive and respectful manner." This is understandable. Any sexiness scale worth anything would rate Crocs somewhere between dead grandma and Linux conference. Any ad that suggests otherwise is clearly phony.

Hanes is asking women to overshare on social media by telling the world the color of their undies. They're pretending that revealing your panty color is some sort of slightly salacious act, and they're willing to offer you free undies if you do it, though it's pretty clear that the whole thing is cleverly disguised market research into preferred panty colors. So, what have they learned over at UndercoverColor.com? Most people talk about their undies at lunch! Five percent of the people telling Hanes the color of their panties are dudes! Pink is currently the most popular color, with 23 percent of all responders selecting it! I was one of those pink wearers. However, the interaction with the brand was somewhat less than satisfying. I told them I was wearing pink. I got to choose between a number of hideous Pinterest-style images with pre-composed tweets. These included flirtatious tweets like, "A good girl might not share her underwear color, but who says I'm a good girl?"; incomprehensible tweets like, "Act like a lady. Underwear like a boss"; and what-the-what tweets like, "It's kind of like a French manicure for my bum!" At which point, you're done! End of website! You never see Hanes underwear anywhere. Which is quite undercover.

The horribly cheesy corporate song is something of a tradition. The classic example is Bank of America's cover of U2's "One," with the lyrics updated to celebrate BofA's merger with MBNA. We've seen it in the agency world, too—for example, the Ogilvy Athens tribute in song to David Ogilvy, and SapientNitro's wretched "Idea Engineers" music video.

Here's a new mortifying entry: the Mercedes-Benz Service Song. It's sung from the point of view of a Mercedes car that's desperately craving a little TLC from a Mercedes repairman who knows how to use his hands. The lyrics begin: "I like them to be strong, that they can catch me when I skid/Like them to turn me on, I thought that some of them did/But just as I needed a helping hand, so many men were 'out of service,' not like you … You only give your best, won't stop until I smile." These prurient declarations, sung (by Patricia Meeden) like this is the '80s, are paired with the most clichéd, over-Photoshopped images they could apparently produce.

It may be the most downmarket thing this luxury brand has ever produced. I give it a week before it's gone from YouTube. Extended version after the jump. Via The Denver Egotist.

In the tradition of amusingly written Craigslist ads, here's one from a brokenhearted San Francisco man who is selling the bed on which he and his girlfriend (UPDATE: or perhaps his boyfriend?) slept—until he or she cheated on him. At $150, the Simmons Beautyrest mattress is "priced to move," the man says. Here are some gems from the listing:

• $150 and it's yours. No catch. Get this fucking mattress out of my life.
• It's three years old, and feels like you're sleeping on a fucking cloud—even when you're unknowingly sleeping next to a lying cheater.
• For 6-8 hours every night you'll forget that you're sleeping next to a sociopath.
• Don't agree to $150 and get to my house and offer $100. Because that would make you a lying cheater.
• Not a deal-breaker, but it would help immensely if you looked like my ex as I would love to see an entitled, Ivy-League educated asshole struggle with this thing.
• Priority will go to those who can come get this literal bed of lies today, as I've got the entire Fiona Apple and Alanis Morissette discographies to get through.

Full text of the ad below. Via Happy Place.

Come get this Plush-ass queen Simmons Beautyrest out of my life – $150

The pain of my broken heart now means less back pain for you! This is basic law of transference type shit. I'm pretty sure the physics work out, but then again—I paid my college roommate who was a scholarship student to do all my take home exams so I can't be entirely sure.

So here's the deal: $150 and it's yours. No catch. Get this fucking mattress out of my life.

It's a plush queen-sized Simmons Beautyrest. It's three years old, and feels like you're sleeping on a fucking cloud—even when you're unknowingly sleeping next to a lying cheater. In a bad relationship and have to lie next to the constant reminder that you didn't go to grad school so that you could move and get engaged? Then this is the bed for you, it will get you to fucking REM and for 6-8 hours every night you'll forget that you're sleeping next to a sociopath. There are no stains, and this thing hasn't seen action in a while.

I thought about giving it away for free, but then I figured, what the hell—sell the bed, and go buy a Fleshjack and a handle of whiskey. And that's how I settled on $150. This thing is priced to move. It's worth much more than the price, and I figure that even someone who is looking at Craigslist on a Tuesday morning could easily afford it. So don't email me with your lowball offers. And don't agree to $150 and get to my house and offer $100. Because that would make you a lying cheater, and I would rather set the mattress on fire and throw it out of the window rather than sell it to you. Seriously, I will lose it.

Priority will go to those who can come get this literal bed of lies today, as I've got the entire Fiona Apple and Alanis Morissette discographies to get through.

And no, I won't help you get it out to your car. There are only eleven steps up to my apartment. You figure it out. I was going to sell the mattress for $200 but I figured it was worth the $50 to watch someone else have to struggle over this oppressive burden. Not a deal-breaker, but it would help immensely if you looked like my ex as I would love to see an entitled, Ivy-League educated asshole struggle with this thing. But totally not necessary.

Car ads have disappointed me lately, so I was pleasantly surprised by this Fallon London spot for Skoda, which ranks as one of the more entertaining and memorable commercials in the category so far this year. (It avoids stalling on gooey sentimentality and hey-we-set-a-record! docudrama.) The awesomely realized one-joke spot shows various objects in a typical suburban neighborhood that have become outrageously big and powerful. These include a baby carriage that's more like a tricked-out moon-buggy; an ice-cream truck serving 2-foot-high cones; a lawnmower with eight cylinders; a jackhammer with mini-hammers to really grind up the pavement; a barbecue grill that's a cross between a UFO and a nuclear plant; and a kid's Big Wheel-type tricycle with wildly humongous wheels. Despite all the size and power on display, folks still stare open-mouthed at a dude tooling around in his high-performance Skoda Octavia vRS.

The action manages to be self-consciously silly but never stupid, because the souped-up stuff, while outlandish and cartoony, is nonetheless cool-looking and convincing. (Check out the "behind-the-scenes" clip below, which opens with a spoof commercial for the jet-powered, bomb-proof grill, and shows some of the impressive props being made.) The slogan, "It's not your everyday family car," is a bit weak, but I still got the message that this is one powerful Skoda, and it might just turn some heads on my boring old street. I'm sold … I'll take the grill! (And a chocolate cone with extra sprinkles, please.)

If blockbusters are your thing, settle in for this mega-epic mashup from trailer editor Vadzim Khudabets, featuring the most explosive, awe-inspiring and just plain cheesy moments from 99 different movie trailers. Check out a full list of the movies after the jump, and see the chronological edit on Khudabets's site. Via Adverve.

Featured movies:
300
300: Rise of an Empire
2012
10,000 BC
A Good Day to Die Hard
After Earth
The Amazing Spider-Man
Angels & Demons
Armageddon
Avatar
The Avengers
Batman Begins
Battleship
Broken Hill
Bunraku
Captain America: The First Avenger
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Clash of the Titans
Cloud Atlas
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
The Divide
Dragonball Evolution
Dredd
Elysium
Ender's Game
Eragon
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Fast & Furious
The Forbidden Kingdom
The Fountain
Getaway
Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
The Golden Compass
Gravity
Green Lantern
Green Zone
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Hitman
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
I Am Legend
I Am Number Four
The Incredible Hulk
Inkheart
Jack the Giant Slayer
John Carter
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Knowing
The Last Airbender
Legion
Live Free or Die Hard
The Lone Ranger
The Lord of the Rings
The Lovely Bones
Man of Steel
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
The New World
Next
The Nutcracker
Oblivion
Pacific Rim
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Priest
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Real Steel
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Resident Evil: Extinction
Resident Evil: Retribution
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
Skyline
Solomon Kane
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Star Trek
Star Trek Into Darkness
Sucker Punch
Sunshine
Super 8
Takers
Terminator Salvation
Thor
Thor: The Dark World
To the Wonder
Trance
Transformers
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The Tree of Life
TRON: Legacy
Underworld: Awakening
Upside Down
Watchmen
World War Z
Wrath of the Titans
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

TBWA\Paris places ads within ads in this new McDonald's campaign, with print and billboard elements playing key roles in a series of understated TV commercials.

Branding cues such as the McDonald's name, tagline and Golden Arches are de-emphasized. In fact, they're entirely absent from the print ads and billboards. The goal is to focus on the iconic, instantly recognizable menu items. We get intense close-ups of crispy fries peeking out of familiar red-and-gold packaging, a giant McNugget dunked in tangy sauce and sundaes drizzled with nuts and chocolate.

Director Xavier Mairesse weaves these visuals into a trio of simple but effective TV spots that need no dialog to deliver their message. In "Dentist," a patient repeatedly opens and closes his mouth as he watches McDonald's fries cycle through a billboard outside. "Yoga" shows a group of enthusiasts chanting "Ommmmmm" as they ogle a full-page McNugget newspaper spread. Women who show up for a job "Interview" smear their lipstick by hungrily licking their lips when they spy a McDonald's sundae in a colorful magazine ad. (Integrating the unbranded work into high-profile commercials—and generating media coverage for the overall campaign—should help make the print ads and billboards even more readily identifiable as ads from McDonald's.)

This brand-as-icon strategy is the same basic approach used in Translation's earlier, pleasingly trippy Big Mac campaign. TBWA's humor, however, is more restrained, allowing the work to quietly make its point about the effect McDonald's food can have on consumers, even when that food is present only in the form of ads.

That in itself is a tad trippy and slightly surreal, and it makes a strong though surely unintended statement about the ubiquity and cultural impact of McDonald's advertising. Consider how much of it we see in our lifetimes—all the TV spots, billboards and print ads, the countless online banners and Web videos. Heck, we might see multiple spots during one night of TV or a single sitcom.

Through sheer volume, the chain's existence in the paid-media realm is just as palpable and perhaps even more intense than its presence in the physical world. So, it's fitting that it would craft a campaign in which its own ads are the stars.

Ever wanted to chomp a big, savory bite of barbecue brisket right out of the side of your soda bottle? Of course you haven't. That would be disgusting and real damn strange. But Texas-based soda brand Big Red is floating the idea anyway in its new ad for the (blessedly fictional) Big Red BBQ Bottle. The spot was created by Austin comedy duo Beef & Sage, who also partnered with the brand last year to create a surprisingly entertaining video series called "Don't Tell Mom We're Doing Experiments in the Garage." The Big Red BBQ Bottle is apparently the first of three new videos that will roll out this summer. "Our new series highlights new 'innovations' that Big Red created to either solve a common consumer problem or make the lives of our consumers better," Big Red marketing svp Thomas Oh tells AdFreak. "Complementing BBQ with the sweet, smooth flavor of Big Red is a fan favorite, so we wanted to feature a new way to enjoy both." Well, Thomas, mission disturbingly accomplished. Credits and more Big Red comedy clips after the jump.

CREDITS
Client: Big Red
Spot: "Big Red BBQ Bottle"
Agency: Real Normal/Beef & Sage
Copywriter: Beef & Sage
Executive Producer: Toby Schwartz
Director: Kirk Johnson
Art Director: Sam Webber
Director of Photography: Nathanael Vorce
Editor: Beef & Sage
Production Services: Real Normal

It may not be the fountain of youth, but it could keep you from death's door—pretty much indefinitely.

Anacin maker Insight Pharmaceuticals sprang into action this week upon hearing that the newly minted world's oldest man, Salustiano "Shorty" Sanchez-Blazquez, credited his longevity to a daily dose of six Anacin tablets and one banana. The obvious next step? Investigating whether "Bananacin," a banana-flavored Anacin tablet, might be the most powerful elixir for longevity.

"Historically, apples are the fruit most associated with staying healthy and avoiding doctors. Our scientists had never looked into the banana before," Jennifer Moyer, vp of marketing for Insight Pharmaceuticals, says in a tongue-in-cheek press release. "But now that the certified oldest man in the world credits bananas and Anacin as his life-extending combo, we're certainly going to explore whether a new Bananacin product makes sense."

They will do no such thing, of course, but you can't fault them for seizing the opportunity here. "If nothing else, Bananacin sounds delicious!" Moyer gushed. "And it only makes sense that the oldest man in the world recognizes the benefits of Anacin, which is one of the oldest brand pain relievers in the U.S."

Sanchez-Blazquez, a 112-year-old who lives in Grand Island, N.Y., outside Buffalo, was born in 1901 and is now officially recognized by the Guinness World Records as the world's oldest man—following the death of Japan's Jiroemon Kimura at age 116 in June.

If CBS' The Crazy Ones seems like a day at Leo Burnett in Chicago, there's a good reason for that. The agency's executive creative director, John Montgomery, works as a consultant and executive producer on the fall comedy—and, in fact, inspired the show, which marks the network series return of former Mork from Ork Robin Williams.

It's no accident, then, that the pilot has the fictional ad folks working on a campaign for McDonald's, one of Burnett's biggest clients. (They want pop star Kelly Clarkson to shill burgers. "I don't do jingles," she sniffs, but eventually belts out a meat-loving ditty.) The brand didn't pay for the prodigious placement, though Williams told 200-plus reporters at a Television Critics Association panel on Monday in Beverly Hills to "look under your chairs—there's a Happy Meal!"

Expect to see other real brands on the show, likely from Burnett's stable, that were willing to let the creative team poke some irreverent fun at them. Montgomery has been spending several days a week with the sitcom's writers, said executive producer David E. Kelley, giving them agency scoop that's "sometimes crazier than we could imagine." Kelley and Williams also visited Burnett's offices to soak up the agency flavor. Even the show's title comes from advertising—"Here's to the Crazy Ones" was the anthem spot from TBWA's "Think Different" campaign for Apple.

There's another ad connection with The Crazy Ones. James Wolk, who plays the shadowy Bob Benson on AMC's Mad Men, stars as the new show's office lothario and creative whiz. "I only do advertising and marketing shows," he joked during the panel. The workplace comedy, premiering Sept. 26, also features Sarah Michelle Gellar as Williams's pragmatic daughter who's trying to keep her screwball dad in line.