Carl’s Jr. Would Have You Believe That Terrell Owens is Still Living a Charmed Life

Hey, look at that! It’s former All-Pro NFL receiver and notable public nuisance Terrell Owens getting paid for his time by appearing in a 72andSunny spot for Carl’s Jr. It’s a post-Christmas miracle!

Sure, Owens hasn’t played in an NFL game since 2010. And, it’s been eight years since he last suited up for the Philadelphia Eagles, where he was let go after getting into a beef (get it?) with the team owner and QB Donovan McNabb (who he accused of getting “tired” during the Eagles’ Super Bowl loss in early 2005). But, agency and client needed someone to shit on Philadelphia’s notoriously vocal fans to contrast them with the deliciousness of their Philly Cheesesteak Burger, and Owens was more than happy to oblige.

But, should you feel any sympathy for how he was treated in Philadelphia, or during his multiple attempts at an NFL comeback over the last few years, remember how he he frequently implied that San Francisco 49ers QB Jeff Garcia was gay despite it having no bearing on anything. Remember how he called out Donovan McNabb for not playing through a sports hernia and implied he wasn’t a warrior like Brett Favre. Oh, and remember his terrible VH1 reality show. Because we should really bring that up more often. Credits after the jump.

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Shocker: Carl’s Jr., Hardee’s Seduce You with Bourbon, Burgers, and a Babe

Both fast-food eateries are running “Mrs. Robinson,” a 30-second homage to The Graduate with Heidi Klum doing her best Anne Bancroft. The spot, created once again by 72andSunny (last work for the CKE chain here), promotes the Jim Beam Bourbon Burger. Odds are that Klum doesn’t regularly eat the fine cuisine she endorses, but we won’t hold it against you if you replay the part where she sucks up barbecue sauce from her finger.

Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s have actually turned down the overt sexuality in their ads–remember last year’s Kate Upton commercial? I’ve eaten their burgers once or twice in my life, and I can assure you, they are not aphrodisiacs unless you’re a local gastroenterologist who needs more business. Credits after the jump.

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