Hasta La Creative!

In an era of "personal brands," there's one man who clearly needs his own style guide and appropriate-use policies: Santa Claus. Stepping in to fill the gap is British agency Quietroom, which has created a Santa Brand Book that would make any festive account planner swoon. 

Er, sorry, that should be the *Santa* Brand Book. The first asterisk "reminds customers of a snowflake alighting on the eyelash of a fawn," while the closing asterisk "points customers to the polar star, and hence the birth of dreams."

Delightfully overthought and packed with subtle humor keyed to those who've had to delve through such dreck for real consumer brands, the *Santa* Brand Book educates you on how to "live the brand" (Snap it, clap it, wrap it), which pantone of white to use, and why we do not refer to him as Father Christmas (because it anagrams to "The Rich Mr. Fat-Ass").

Hat tip to @Cloudspark.