Hasta La Creative!

In a bid to lower our collective national IQ, MTV has greenlighted a Paris Hilton reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. (She’s on the outs with Nicole—when did that happen?!) I, of course, am always available for palling around, mainly because I have no friends who aren’t “work friends,” and even they won’t share the men’s room key or show me how to work the copy machine. (I need 956 color dupes of the new Harry Potter book jacket, front and back—what’s so strange about that?) Paris and I have a lot in common. For one thing, she enjoys the undeserved fame to which I so blatantly aspire. Also, she released an album that was savaged by the critics, which is something I’ve always dreamed of doing, because who cares what Rolling Stone has to say. Ah well, by the time BFF debuts, another bad singer’s 15 minutes will have expired, and she’ll be sorely in need of a friend. Paris and Ashley, perhaps. … Now that’s hot!

—Posted by David Gianatasio