Hey … Beer Can Make Us Fly?

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More slapstick Bud Light crap for Super Bowl 2008. Want the ability to fly? Guess what beer can help you out. Anheuser-Busch will not be held liable for jet- or sun-related accidents.

Vacuum Cleaner Battles Sadistic Robot for ‘Wall-E’

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We’re not sure what Pixar’s Wall-E is about, but the ad includes a Toy Story cameo and the murder of a vacuum cleaner by a cute robot — a species that, by now, we’re bored with.

Bridgestone Fails to Dazzle, Pays God-Knows-What for Alice Cooper and Richard Simmons

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Don’t get us wrong. Richard Simmons impressions are funny. Richard Simmons in the flesh is funnier still.

Cars.com Redefines ‘Plan B’

If all goes awry in a job interview, fall back on Plan B. (Which is apparently more than birth control.) By Plan B, we mean bring in the witch doctor for vengeful head-shrinkage. Give demonstration on future colleague if…

Zantac Makes Cosmetic Surgery Just That Much More Accessible

This year’s Zantac Super Bowl ad featured a woman whose facial features improved significantly after a giant thumb and forefinger airbrushed it with a minty Zantac pill. Because Zantac ain’t just for heartburn — it’s tomorrow’s surprise contender in the…

Tom Petty Delivers Pleasing Super Bowl Halftime Show

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OK, we’re not complaining but if half time Super Bowl acts keep going in the direction they have been, they’re going to have to resurrect Chuck Berry.

CareerBuilder Kills Off Sleepy Ideals with Reality’s Spider

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We dug this Career Builder ad in which a Jiminy Cricket-type character brings inspiration to a despondent white collar grunt — then gets eaten by a spider. Looks like CB’s learned how to make good use of irony for its new slogan: “Start building.” We thought it would be a lamer campaign than it’s turning out to be.

Dwyane Wade, Charles Barclay Fail to Excite For T-Mobile

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It’s not always a good thing to be in someone’s T-mobile Fave 5 as Dwyane Wade soon finds out after finally getting Charles Barclay to et him into his Fave5.

Dwayne Wade, Charles Barkley Fail to Excite For T-Mobile

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It’s not always a good thing to be in someone’s T-mobile Fave 5 as Dwyane Wade soon finds out after finally getting Charles Barclay to et him into his Fave5.

Modern-Day Frida Wins Hearts with Eau de Peanut

Planter’s Super Bowl ad this year featured a dowdy chick with one eyebrow, felling men left and right with peanut perfume. Weird. But not as weird as that one ad where a person in a mouse suit kicks somebody’s…

GMC Airs Sisyphus Complex for All to See

Halfway through the game, this hand-drawn spot (still to come) for GMC feels like the longest spot we’ve seen thus far. But kudos to them for being so honest about their Sisyphus complex. Nothing can feel more like rolling a…

Hearts Divorce Bodies, Strike Out for CareerBuilder

So this woman’s at her computer, typing away innocently, when her heart — still pumping — leaps the hell out of her chest (tearing an unfortunate hole in her sweater) and walks over to the boss’ office, where it…

Talking Stain Ruins Interview. Tide Comes to the Rescue

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Now this Tide commercial (link to follow) is one you just love to watch over and over.

Ooooh. Budweiser Pulls the Rocky Card.

There’s something about the “Rocky” theme that brings out the adrenaline-pumped patriot in us. We would never have imagined Budweiser was gonna pull that card in this spot involving a dalmatian and Hank, an overlooked race horse. GO HANK!…

Indigenous Native, Circle of Flame Promote … Cars.com?

We have no idea what Cars.com’s Super Bowl ad was actually about, but it involved a really hot tatted islander who releases a murderous carnal scream, and a circle of flame where we hoped a gladiator fight would take…

Cops Get Fresh … for Dell (red) Laptops?

We knew dell was working on changing its image, and we knew it was going to do a spot for its new project (red) line, but we didn’t realize it would involve cop fondling and just general gratuitous ass-slapping….

Kina Grannis Wins Doritos CGM Contest

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OK, Doritos. For a minute there I didn’t know I was watching a commercial.

Bridgestone Goes High-Intensity With Squirrel Salvation

Bridgestone just shocked us into submission with an ad involving a squirrel’s near-death experience by tire skiddage. We knew there was screaming; there was just a lot more than we expected. Suddenly we feel like road kill has feelings. Mostly…

Visually Stunning Under Armour Commercial Delivers Confusing Message

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This Under Armour commercial is visually stunning, wonderfully created, beautifully shot. Amazingly colored.

Bud Light Brings Manly Touch to Wine/Cheese Fete

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Bud Light’s given us another one of its brief flourishes, with men using large cheese and baguette to smuggle Bud Light into their girls’ wine and cheese party.