Hasta La Creative!

Today’s blind item post is more of a roundup.

• We hear that a certain major agency (which just announced some big changes in its executive lineup) wants to rekindle its relationship with a certain major foreign automobile brand. The agency had what amounted to a quick fling with the company before losing the account to another multinational shop several years ago, and its recently-appointed leaders are hungry for new business. In fact, we hear that the agency is actively pitching future projects for the client, whose current AOR is not particularly amused…and that the CEO is personally reviewing those concepts.
• We also hear that a major gaming company, which has worked with the New York-based offices of an international agency for the past two years, has shifted part of its account to another, smaller New York agency whose recent work betrays a certain fondness for a convicted pop plagiarist. Because this client’s PR department is every blogger’s worst nightmare, we don’t expect to officially confirm the rumor anytime soon.
• In a not-quite-so-blind item, a copywriter working the McDonald’s account revealed, via her personal Facebook page, that the client is currently in the process of testing and naming new sandwiches and other products. This means that the chain’s recent rebranding efforts — led by Leo Burnett and focused on sentiment over specifics — are only one part of its plan to convince skeptical Americans to embrace those golden arches once again. Expect a major new-menu campaign in the months ahead.
• Finally, we hear that a certain Southern agency, which recently closed one of its offices and may have to fight to keep its largest account, is “actively recruiting” for a new CTO despite the fact that its current CTO is still listed among its leadership team. How do we know this? Because a headhunter contacted our source directly to gauge his/her interest in the job.

Hello and happy hump day, readers.

Now is the time when we dig back through our tips archive to find the claims that no one in their right mind would ever confirm. First: according to another one of those repeat tipsters, a certain New York-based agency’s offices had a bathroom problem earlier this month:

“…the stalls are overflowing with poop.”

If this super-relevant rumor is true, it would seem that the agency in question and M&C Saatchi London recently dealt with opposing problems: the UK employee didn’t flush while the other agency’s employees couldn’t flush. At least the issue doesn’t seem to be gender-specific.

On to more important things…

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

If you’re hungry for a bit of dirt, this classic from the Blind Item file contains some facts about a certain mid-sized agency owned by a certain major holding company in a certain city that may or may not be New York. The agency:

• Compiles “dossiers” on the bad behavior of its own executives
• Uses random drug tests to get rid of unwanted employees (if they refuse to take the test, the axe falls)
• Gets rid of “disappeared” victims by cleaning out their offices in the middle of the workday with no warning to co-workers
• Has far more than your usual share of paranoia, backstabbing and tests of loyalty to top leaders

Oh yes…there’s more.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

From the Spy line, one tipster asks, “Is this a joke or is Don Draper hiring?” Seems pretty standard from the get-go until you get towards the finish line, which could seem Draper-esque. Not sure if this is the normal job description nowadays for an agency executive administrative assistant but seems a bit much, no? Anyways, we checked the link sent to us and it appears legit. You be the judge:

• “Manage the inbox of the General Manager, file and deal with responses as requested

• Maintain calendar and proactively work to resolve scheduling overlap or changes at short notice

• Organize meetings and events

• Type letters, memos, presentations, faxes, meeting minutes, etc. as required

• Make and manage travel arrangements using BCD’s web travel portal

• Create and maintain an organized filing system that is up to date

• Expenses – maintain and settle in a timely manner

• Update key contact information regularly and have on hand for quick reference

• Produce minutes and presentation documents as required

• Attend requested meetings and manage action points

• Answer all telephone calls professionally

• Make decisions to action call requests appropriately in the absence of the GM

• Ensure arrangements for the General Manager’s visitors are taken care of

• Ensure internal and external communications are handled in a professional and mature manner

• Assist with the General Manager’s personal life, managing and anticipating needs outside of work including but not limited to: family duties (managing kids’ calendars, keeping passports & important documents up to date, working with spouse on miscellaneous projects, picking up children on occasion), organizing house duties (repairs, a/v technical issues, home purchases), managing all finances & cash flow, and personal errands as needed

• Additional administrative tasks as requested”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Ahh yes, what better time to dust off the ol’ blind item category than with this little ditty that showed up in the tips box last night. A management supervisor at a certain fairly well-known San Francisco agency appears to be on the hunt for a husband, and by golly, she’ll crowdsource if she has to in order to land one. Is she “wookin pa nub” in all the wrong places? Well, only time will tell we suppose. As you’ll see below, there’s $10,000 up for grabs if it all works in the end. We’ve redacted the name, though, as we don’t to add insult to injury if this idea backfires (we’ve been told though that this is “dead serious” and that she’s “already gotten 100 potential dates”), so read on and take your guesses.

“Hi to my most favorite friends,

Remember that time I offered you $10,000 to find me a husband? Me neither. But we both will in about one minute and forty five seconds.

I just finished the book “Lean In.” And whether you’re a fan of this feminist social movement is neither here nor there. What is here is an idea that came to me after reading this book. I thought, “I get it, I need to sit at the table. I need to be deeply committed to becoming a leader.” Got it. I’m on it. And then I thought, “It’s 11PM on a Sunday night, I’m single, I just had to squirt dish soap on leftover pizza so I wouldn’t eat 2 more slices and this is the second self-help book I’ve read this month.”

And then it was as if Sheryl Sandberg and Patti Stanger bitch slapped me across the face with a soaking wet “stop being single” towel. If I wanted a new job, would I sit in the lobby of the employer’s building just hoping that someone would offer me my dream job? No. If I want a husband, will he just show up out of thin air and ask me to hang out with him for the rest of his life? No. Okay—maybe if I looked like Kate Upton. But I don’t. (However, in 2005 the freshman class of my sorority did say that Charlize Theron was my doppelganger. Yes, we might have been hazing them. Yes, they might have been blind folded. But they said it.) So yeah, I’m not Kate Upton. You get the point.

And so I’m writing you today because I’ve decided to make an aggressive action plan on finding that one fella that I get to hang out with forever. And I’ve recognized two things that are important to this plan: (1) a great percentage of marriages are the result of introductions by friends and (2) most people do not give a lot of thought about introducing one of their single friends to another one of their single friends. I get it. Introducing me to my husband is just not high on your to-do list. But I think I have an idea that might change that…

I will personally give ten thousand dollars to the friend who introduces me to my husband.

Here is how the referral program works:
Step 1: You set me up on a date with a man
Step 2: I marry that man
Step 3: I give you $10,000 on my wedding day

I know you’re thinking that this is nuts. Just plain crazy. “[Redacted], you can find a husband without dishing out $10,000.” Well for starters, thank you – I’m flattered. And secondly, I totally agree. But the reality is finding a husband always costs money. I just collected 1,000 insider points from Sephora and this isn’t because I buy beauty products to impress my 4-year old nephew.

To substantiate this offer, I have the complete support and admiration from my parents—who are both included on this email.

So, remember that time I offered you $10,000 to find me a husband? Me too.

Always and forever,
[redacted]”

 

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

It’s that time again to dust off the ol’ blind item category. While the overall tone of this note gives one the sense that someone’s trying to light a fire,  you can pretty much tell that the author is on their way out the door one way or another. Anyhow, this alleged note sent by a frustrated staffer to his/her CMO at a rather well-known national retail chain mentions a couple of names that we’ve redacted, but you get the gist that whoever typed this up intended to go out guns blazing. Read on and feel free to weigh in if you’d like.

“What are you doing? No, really, what are you doing? Do you enjoy having a department that scratches their head at your every move…a department that’s mystified that you decided to retain [redacted] and [redacted], the 2 most life sucking innovation-lacking, uninspiring, micro-managing sociopaths, but eliminating [redacted], after two other well liked and respected Sr. Leaders leave? Is this what your consulting background has taught you? If so, it’s a waste of an education.

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.