Hasta La Creative!

Good Things Come to Those Who WHITE
A pint of the black stuff becomes a pint of the white stuff with the launch of a creamier new version: “Guinness White”.
Guinness is made from the same raw ingredients as regular Guinness Draught – hops, barley, water and yeast, but the barley is frozen instead of roasted, which provides the white colour.

I have to admit, this April Fools made me shriek in horror/delight (not even sure actually, I know I’d try it!) so they had me for a nano-second there, scaring the Guinness-purist in me and delighting my try-anything-new side.
Very cute. Announced at facebook, which I’m so not going to link to because, pshaw, pfft, facebook, how lame.
The joke however, fun-niiii.

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Citrus have created this dear agency letter generator. You choose between three different things, such as monkeys, lizards or meerkats in response to the question “What animals have been suggested that “really take your brand to the next level”?” and click write letter to get a nice letter that you can send off to your agency when you want them to know you’re letting them go. My only gripe with this is no matter what animal I pick that particular creature isn’t mentioned in the letter, though the others might be. Fail.

Here’s an example of what you might send to your agency. I got this when I picked meerkats. No cats at all in the letter (hehe) but cavemen and geckos are mentioned.

That’s right. You heard me. Fired. As in axed. Let go. Canned. Sacked, as the Brits say.

Did it have to come to this? Let me put it to you in a way your tragically hip, bipolar, right-brained mind can understand: It was either this or I start torturing interns for fun.

You’re confused, are you? Let me clarify. Over the past year, you’ve tried to sell me regurgitated award show ideas that no self-respecting agency would even put down on paper, let alone present. Do you really think a garrulous reptile is a new idea? Let alone a good one? Here’s a tip: If it’s been done as a failed ad campaign AND a failed TV show, it’s not going to make my brand famous. Same goes with babies, cavemen and anything else that might require an on-location “wrangler.”

The attitudes, the overcharging, the blown deadlines, the constant bitching and moaning like it’s the end of the freaking world when I suggest you add my web address to an ad that I’m PAYING for…you should be paying me for putting up with it for so long.

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Mauseth Design 2008 self-promo, None of Your Business Cards, is an ingenious set of faux business cards, which upon close inspection contain fake names and numbers and a special not so subtle message: never call me again.

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If you can’t figure this out by yourself, there’s a simple test at http://yourclientfromhell.com/. I’d take the test but I currently have a client who keeps sending my mile-long forms with yes/no questions so I’ve developed an allergy to these things.

Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do when they come for you? The Design Police are here and they will cover your documents with screaming red alerts pointing out all the mistakes you’ve made. You too can be a design police deputy, download the visual enforcement kit and stick it to bad design. *

* sorry, my puns get worse the later it gets.

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