Hasta La Creative!

Here’s how sausage — I mean cheese — I mean the news — is made these days.

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about the Velveeta shortage, because media outlets far and wide have been obsessed with it for the past few weeks.

I’m here to tell you that the story began with the personal experience of my colleague Ken Wheaton, a Brooklynite and self-described “lifelong Velveeta eater.” Per Ken: “I don’t make it a habit” — I did not have the time or the means to fact-check that assertion — “but during football season, especially if we’re having people over, I definitely go for the old ‘queso.’ I’m sure it’s an insult to actual queso dips, but it’s Velveeta and a can of Ro-Tel.” At this point Ken started telling me about the fine points of his recipe — “The ambitious can do it in a skillet of browned ground meat as well…” — but my mind started to wander as I wondered why Ken’s never invited me over to watch a game. (Maybe Ken just doesn’t like me?) (Why does Ken hate me?)

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