Hasta La Creative!

If you’re not into Star Wars, you might as well sign off the Internet for the rest of the year. Not only are the filmmakers going to bombard you with content, everybody else is, too.

Case in point: A Craigslist user in California posted a “buyer beware” listing warning people not to purchase the Imperial II-Class Star Destroyer seen in the most recent Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer.

Fake Craigslist ads are a hallowed genre, and this one is pretty solid—as the user warns that the vehicle is “totally infested with roaches and womp rats” and “there’s no way this thing is ever going to pass emissions.”

Check out the full text below.

BUYER BEWARE: Imperial II-class Star Destroyer – $1 (Mad River)

I just wanted to make sure people are aware, this is a total scam. I drove all the way out there to look at this thing and the guy wanted a huge deposit before he’d even let me take it for a spin.

After looking around a bit I’d be surprised if this thing could even finish the Kessel run, let alone do it in a decent time. It’s totally infested with roaches and womp rats, so when you figure the cost of a 6.2 trillion cubic foot fumigation job, this thing is a total write-off for that reason alone.

I know it’s had Sand People in it, but all the tracks are single file so who knows how many have been in there or what parts they’ve ripped off.

You can’t even get this thing licensed in most states until you remove all 384 turbolasers and the ion cannons will have to be retrofitted with low-capacity magazines (thanks Obama), and there’s no way this thing is ever going to pass emissions.

The “carbon scoring” is conveniently makes the serial numbers unreadable, so I can’t even verify what model year this thing is, but I suspect that it’s the year that no one wants because there weren’t any handrails on the control deck. The whole “open bridge” thing was a terrible idea. It’s like the Pontiac Aztec of star destroyers.

So save yourself a trip. The guy just wants this crap off his farm but doesn’t want to pay the Jawas to haul it away.

Believe me, this isn’t the star destroyer you’re looking for.