Be a social-media guru with this handy kit
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Thank you for purchasing the Acme Deluxe Social Media Starter Kit*! You now have everything you’ll need to get connected, stay in touch and look super-cool in the exciting world of social media:
1) Photos of Mark Zuckerberg and Sarah Lacy. Upload them to your Facebook and MySpace pages in place of your own headshots. It’s a cool inside joke that will never get old!
2) Photo of Warner Bros. cartoon star Tweety Bird. “I tawt I taw a Twitter feed!†Say it five times fast!
3) Pre-paid video UltraSlimPhone for wireless networking. Yes, it’s a Hello Kitty model and the number key is broken, but your new Facebook friends don’t have to know that!
4) An impressive resume for LinkedIn. You’re a CMO—good for you!
5) Copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People to ensure maximum poke-age.
6) Cutting-edge emoticons. 🙂 = happy! 🙁 = sad! :((()))! = I’m a simmering cauldron of mixed emotions so buzz off!
7) One friend to network with. His name’s Mike. He’s originally from Portland, Ore., and he likes pizza.
8) Booklet of Domino’s Pizza coupons. (See No. 7.)
9) One widget. Also named Mike. We think it’s a clock. Cool.
10) One movie clip for video sharing. It’s Owen Wilson as Drillbit Taylor. (We could have given you Adam Sandler, so don’t complain.)
* “A life†is not included and must be purchased separately. Coming Soon: the Acme Deluxe Get a Life Kit, just $39.95!
—Posted by David Gianatasio
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