Jun
21
ZIMA "Back, not Back" (2017) 1:00 (USA)
Posted in: Uncategorized
If you are a member of Gen X like me, you remember Zima. “Tastes kinda like Sprite!” Sure. Sprite with a hint of vomit. You might have even gotten wasted on it at high school parties. Malt beverages were all the rage back then. If, like me, you are a member of Gen X, you are also feeling like part of a forgotten generation. The Baby Boomers are still in the spotlight, running the world into the ground with their faulty politics. And advertisers are still chasing after Millennials like rabid pavlovian dogs with tunnel vision, even though my generation has more disposable income than they do. We’re also less likely to write think pieces or #resist your misguided advertising.
Either way, if it’s time for the Slackers to finally get our due, it’s annoying as hell that out of all the things one could pluck from the 90’s miasma to bring back, they decided to bring back Zima.
That’s right, kids. Zima is back for a limited time, this ad announces.
What else from the 90’s is back? Well, not brick phones, thankfully. Jincos are back! (Not thankfully, either.) And no, tribal tattoos or tramp stamps for that matter. That’s right, we called them Tramp Stamps back then. Long live the First Amendment, screw political correctness. Taco Bell Chihuahuas? No way, Jose!
The 90’s references really start to lose their way at this point. Inflatable hi-tops? Sorry they debuted in 1989. And VHS started in Japan in the 70’s but was already huge in the states in the 1980’s. (See kids, we used to have these video rental places. There was one on every corner. And gas was only a dollar!) Pagers were from the ’80s. There’s even a reference to You Can’t Do That On Television with someone getting green slime dumped on their heads. Also from the 80’s. The Troll doll actually originated way back in 1959 and enjoyed two fad moments. The first was the 70’s. Even the art direction and voice over is mostly straight outta the 80’s. This to me is the biggest blunder. At least the cast is very 2017. You never would have seen a woman with that many tattoos in the 90’s unless she was in a band or recently got out of jail.
The only really accurate part of this ad that made me laugh our loud is the fact the voice over spells out the entire website name at the end. I wished they would have added “AOL Keyword: Zima,” too.That would have been a nice cherry on top. Oh, there’s also a website that they kind of get half right, too. The type size is too large and I’m missing the star trail that my cursor would have left if I moved it around.
Feels like if you were going to go for this concept you might have researched it a bit for accuracy. Hey maybe some Gen X slackers created it. Either way, I realize I’m not the target since I haven’t deleted thirty-seven selfies just now before I posted the right one to my feed. Time to come to terms with the fact that I’m not the chosen target any more. I am part of the forgotten generation. Whatever, I don’t care. It’s like, whatever, man.
*cues up Smashing Pumpkins*
*follows it up with The Verve*
*plays Cracker’s “Teen Angst.”
I’m sure when the Millennials discover that Zima sucks it will go straight back in the 90’s miasma where it belongs. Right next to the charm ankle bracelets and dELiA•s catalogues.
Either way, if it’s time for the Slackers to finally get our due, it’s annoying as hell that out of all the things one could pluck from the 90’s miasma to bring back, they decided to bring back Zima.
That’s right, kids. Zima is back for a limited time, this ad announces.
What else from the 90’s is back? Well, not brick phones, thankfully. Jincos are back! (Not thankfully, either.) And no, tribal tattoos or tramp stamps for that matter. That’s right, we called them Tramp Stamps back then. Long live the First Amendment, screw political correctness. Taco Bell Chihuahuas? No way, Jose!
The 90’s references really start to lose their way at this point. Inflatable hi-tops? Sorry they debuted in 1989. And VHS started in Japan in the 70’s but was already huge in the states in the 1980’s. (See kids, we used to have these video rental places. There was one on every corner. And gas was only a dollar!) Pagers were from the ’80s. There’s even a reference to You Can’t Do That On Television with someone getting green slime dumped on their heads. Also from the 80’s. The Troll doll actually originated way back in 1959 and enjoyed two fad moments. The first was the 70’s. Even the art direction and voice over is mostly straight outta the 80’s. This to me is the biggest blunder. At least the cast is very 2017. You never would have seen a woman with that many tattoos in the 90’s unless she was in a band or recently got out of jail.
The only really accurate part of this ad that made me laugh our loud is the fact the voice over spells out the entire website name at the end. I wished they would have added “AOL Keyword: Zima,” too.That would have been a nice cherry on top. Oh, there’s also a website that they kind of get half right, too. The type size is too large and I’m missing the star trail that my cursor would have left if I moved it around.
Feels like if you were going to go for this concept you might have researched it a bit for accuracy. Hey maybe some Gen X slackers created it. Either way, I realize I’m not the target since I haven’t deleted thirty-seven selfies just now before I posted the right one to my feed. Time to come to terms with the fact that I’m not the chosen target any more. I am part of the forgotten generation. Whatever, I don’t care. It’s like, whatever, man.
*cues up Smashing Pumpkins*
*follows it up with The Verve*
*plays Cracker’s “Teen Angst.”
I’m sure when the Millennials discover that Zima sucks it will go straight back in the 90’s miasma where it belongs. Right next to the charm ankle bracelets and dELiA•s catalogues.
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