Hasta La Creative!

If you’re casting around for a metaphor to convey the out-sized reach and sheer strength of the sports TV marketplace, you could do worse than Cris Carter’s otherworldly meat hooks. Having hauled in 1,101 receptions over the course of his 16 seasons in the NFL, the Hall of Famer’s hands are, as he puts it, “not normal in terms of size and flexibility,” which he then demonstrates by clasping them in front of him before bending his fingers back 90 degrees.

Carter’s manipulation of his digits is at once mesmerizing and not just a little bit gross, and the GroupM buyers and Fox Sports suits seated closest to the broadcaster in this third-floor conference room are quietly “ooh-ing” (or is it “eww-ing”?) and “aah-ing” as he goes through his routine.

“Over the course of my life playing football, wide receiver coaches taught me that flexibility and dexterity in my hands were very, very important,” Carter says, as he seemingly unhinges his thumb from its socket like a python loosening its jaw before swallowing a baby hippo. “My thumb is down here because it got in the way of catching the football. I had to stretch all these ligaments and tendons out so that I could do something special. Because there’s nothing worse than a big ol’ guy with big ol’ hands for no reason.”

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