Syfy Is Making a Third Sharknado, and We’ve Already Written 5 Pitches for It

Syfy tells Adweek exclusively that it has green-lit a third movie in its increasingly silly Sharknado franchise before even airing the second one (official title: The Second One).

The first flick cost the network a scant $250,000, a cost repaid in social chatter and fan love. Now the network has committed to a third film to be set in a yet-to-be-determined city, presumably with the rest of the principal cast from Sharknado and Sharknado 2: The Second One, provided no airborne carnivorous fish spend their last moments on Earth munching on Tara Reid or Ian Ziering between now and then.

So here, without further ado, are five pitches we feel Syfy should consider while the network tries to figure out how next to fling a funnel cloudful of surprised apex predators teeth-first into the public imagination.

Oh, and for the record, Sharkando 2 premieres Wednesday, July 30, just after San Diego Comic Con. Sharknado 3 is slated to air in summer 2015.

3harknado

Starring Nathan Fillion, Portia de Rossi, Alison Brie and Joel Hodgson, the third Sharknado tears apart San Diego during the reunion of cult classic TV series SpaceShark 2025. During a panel Q&A with fans, the down-on-their-luck cast is rent asunder by the very monsters their fictional characters used to battle. Will they learn who engineered this catastrophe? And when they do, will the answer shock them?

Sharknado 3: Sharksplode!

Executive produced by Michael Bay with 35 percent new footage, the world really has a mess on its hands when a waterspout hits a once-in-a-lifetime … uh, thrice-in-a-lifetime … school of sharks—and then a mid-Atlantic oil rig! Now filled with flammable light sweet crude, the angry and frightened fish burst into waterproof flames on impact with the ground. Our only hope may be the brave men and women of the Navy's elite SHaRK unit, who must place themselves in harm's way between hundreds of sharksplosions… and Big Ben.

Wes Anderson's Splendid Third Sharknado

Directed by Wes Anderson from a screenplay co-written with Roman Coppola, Daniel Day-Lewis and Jeff Goldblum star as romantic rivals Commander Jonas Welk and Chef Brent Klein, respectively the captain and the cook of a six-story-tall, 700-foot-long airliner nearing the end of its six-year mission to explore cirrus cloud formations. Tensions run high during the biweekly midair refuelings, though discomfort is offset somewhat by the opulent ballrooms and smoking lounges aboard the jet. When a probe disturbs a nest of rare flying sharks atop the highest mountain in the world, the two men must put aside their differences—and their shared adoration of the first mate (Tilda Swinton)—to rescue the frightened creatures from a dizzying plummet to their demise. Meanwhile, Commander Welk comes to terms with the death of his sister.

Sharknado 3: Shark Fu

An action-packed anime set in the coastal Japanese city of Yokohama in the year 3015, this six-part miniseries follows five cyborg warriors unfairly expelled from the city for dishonoring their jetpack clan, though the fault actually lies with the duplicitous chieftan of an enemy gang of motorcycle-riding scalp-hunters. When the biker gang leader's rash actions trigger a waterspout over the radioactive-shark-infested Uraga Channel, our heroes must regain their honor by developing an entirely new form of airborne martial arts combat before the storm full of sharks tears through Yokohama … on its way to Tokyo.

Sharknado 3: POV

A happy-go-lucky shark, minding its own business off the Great Barrier Reef, is unceremoniously flung into the sky by a storm that propels it toward Queensland, Australia. Though the shark struggles to breathe in the sparse water of the storm, it manages to cling to life by bravely eating as many nourishing tourists as possible. But as the storm makes landfall, our hero begins to worry: will it be able to kill the wicked human leader and avoid the horrifying array of grenades, chainsaws and guns wielded by the human minions? And if so, how will it get back home?

Syfy, please select one or more of the above and make the check out to Adweek.