Hasta La Creative!

Secret Weapon Marketing's latest terrifically tacky effort for Jack in the Box features big-ass chickens, highway smash-ups and sexting—though, perhaps sadly, not in the same commercial. Three spots tout the impressive size of various menu items in the brand's patented sophomoric style.

To promote Really Big Chicken Combos, "Big Chickens" rehashes familiar comic tropes, spoofing giant-monster flicks and fuss-pot Hollywood directors by staging a film-set sissy fight between two actors dressed as humongous hens. Wags might suggest that the spot lays an egg, though in doing so they'd display more creativity and original thought than the commercial itself. In "How'd I Do It?" the chain's freakish, cue-ball-headed Jack mascot reveals his inspiration for the sausage, eggs, cheese, bacon and other stuff piled high on the Waffle Stack: a highway pile-up of big rigs, each carrying the food items in question. Wags might say that Jack in the Box advertising resembles not mere car crashes, but full-blown train wrecks. I'd never stoop so low.

A third clip shows two young women lounging in bed while texting. One tells the other, "He just said, 'It's big … really big.'" Her friend responds, "Tell him to send a pic." A photo of the Big Stack sandwich arrives, and both women, suitably impressed, say, "Whoa!" The scene then shifts to a restaurant booth, where Jack tells a pal texting on his behalf, "Tell her I'm easy. 'Cuz of the drive-thru." Hmm, who's more unappealing as a sexter, Jack or Anthony Weiner? It's a pretty close call.

"Texting," posted several weeks ago, generated some mild complaint for its sleazy scenario. It vanished from Jack in the Box's website and YouTube channel yesterday. A client rep explained, "The spot had a limited run due to the limited-time-only nature of the product and promotion … Knowing the spot would have a limited run, talent fees were negotiated so that Internet usage would expire when the promotion concluded. But again, this spot ran its full planned schedule."

If Jack in the Box for any reason whatsoever also makes "Big Chickens" and "How'd I Do It?" disappear—or obliterates those hyper-annoying "Nugging" ads from the face of the Earth—I'd be OK with that, too.

Two more spots after the jump.