Mar 31

How to Make ‘Ban Bossy’ Less Polarizing: Actually Ask Young Girls What They Think

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Sheryl Sandberg's Ban Bossy campaign has sparked some interesting and often heated debate in recent weeks, practically swamping my Twitter feed with hashtags ranging from #bossy and #banbossy to #dontbanbossy and #banpeoplewhobanbossy. 

Women's lifestyle site SheKnows, however, has found an interesting middle ground in the polarizing debate over whether the word "bossy" shouldn't be used to describe assertive girls. The site decided to simply ask young girls what they think "bossy" means and whether it's a good or bad word to use.

"We are inspired by Sheryl Sandberg's Ban Bossy mission to open up conversation with girls about their perceptions of leadership," says Samantha Skey at SheKnows. "This issue is endemic to SheKnows, which provides women with a platform where they can create and share content. While Sandberg's ad campaign has received criticism for banning the word 'bossy,' the SheKnows #BossyIs movement is picking up the torch to empower girls through frank discussion."

The resulting video captures what 9-year old girls think about the pros and cons of being "bossy." Their comments are particularly refreshing since all of the talk around this issue has been perpetuated by grown-ups.

One girl's comment does a great job summarizing both sides of the debate, in which Sandberg's critics say bossy behavior and leadership are too different to be lumped together: "People think that you're bossy, but you're actually just trying to lead … which can end up being bossy."

The interviews with the girls are—not surprisingly—a little more endearing than watching adults get hashtaggressive with each other on Facebook and Twitter.


    



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Mar 10

Celebs Join Sheryl Sandberg’s Campaign to Stop Calling Girls ‘Bossy’

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For all of Lean In's strongly phrased criticisms of the modern corporate world, author Sheryl Sandberg still seems to spark the most debate with one seemingly innocuous opinion: We shouldn't call girls "bossy."

"When a girl tries to lead, she is often labeled bossy," Sandberg wrote. "Boys are seldom called bossy because a boy taking the role of a boss does not surprise or offend."

Since Lean In's publication a year ago this week, Sanberg continues to draw criticism for her belief that girls should be praised for leadership skills rather than being called bossy. As recently as last month, Inc. columnist and HR veteran Suzanne Lucas wrote about the passage: "Bossy is not leadership. In fact, bossy is the opposite of leadership."

But Sandberg is leaning in to her position, and she's bringing some friends. Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, Condoleezza Rice, Jane Lynch and other high-profile women have come together to support LeanIn.org's "Ban Bossy" campaign. 

"I'm not Bossy," Beyonce announces. "I'm the boss." 

The campaign also includes a spot by BBDO, showing young girls describing how they will lose their motivation to lead in middle school under social pressure to not be bossy.

Co-sponsored by the Girl Scouts, the digital campaign encourages women and men to post #BanBossy messages to social media, helping encourage girls to be opinionated without fear of pushback.

Critics will continue to say that bossy behavior should be discouraged and that it's important to foster a sense of civility in leadership. But actress Jennifer Garner notes that as long as we continue to use the word "bossy" as a criticism unfairly leveled against girls, we'll continue to breed silence, not leadership: "When a little girl is called bossy when she leads, it's telling her to be quiet. I don't want girls to be quiet. I want them to roar!"


    



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