Australia vs England hostilities spread beyond the cricket field – "because Vegemite tastes like Australia."

For the record, Marmite started it, in case the brewer’s yeast spread’s parents are reading this. Marmite (a softer, gentler, more polite version of Vegemite) was handing out free jars of Marmite at the Ashes in an attempt to woo those attending. The Australia vs England hostilities have now spread beyond the cricket field – heh, “spread”, see what we did there? In the press, Vegemite and Marmite are having it out in ad spreads. Ad spreads hehehe. Fine, I’ll see myself out.

“G’Day” the ad reads and continues: 

“News has reached down under that free jars of marmite are being handed out at the ashes to try and prove it tastes better than our Vegemite. 

Are you guys barmy?

Of course the refined English palate will prefer yours.
You see, Vegemite is a far stronger taste, made of resilience and fortitude with a dash of cunning and guile. Vegemite tastes like back-to-back tons on your return test. Vegemite tastes like a come-from-behind victory by 251 runs.

You lot won’t like the taste of Vegemite, because Vegemite tastes like Australia.

Catch ya at Lord’s. “

I must say, even if I don’t understand half of it because I am neither British nor Australian, nor am I wise to the ways of cricket, I love the tone of this ad. It’s all chest-thumpingly proud of being not only an acquired taste but even more so than the other polarising-taste spread, Marmite. For the record, I like them both, on hot and slightly buttered toast. Fite me.

Matt Gray, Vegemite spokesperson in Australia said “It’s not often we get brought into such a large scale international conflict. However, we found Marmite’s behaviour to be a little untoward. It’s just not cricket to give away Marmite at the cricket. We just want to set the record straight that Australians will always prefer Vegemite as Vegemite actually tastes like Australia. The English are welcome to their mild Marmite, it probably suits their sensitive palates a little more.”

Thems fighting words.

OOH

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